Just passing through.

I finished up strong at Endako on the 27th of February. Since then, I've been home, spending time with my girls and catching up on many things that were sidelined or I always meant to do but never could afford. I've burnt through A LOT of money, but i'm not really worried, its catch up time. Time to enjoy a few fruits of my labour.

Since arriving home, I've been seeing a traditional chinese acupuncturist, who has totally helped me heal a broken body and mind. I've quit smoking both cigarettes and pot. I've joined a gym, and try to go everyday. I'm making some positive steps, and have many more left on the list, before I head back out of town. The best part is all the time I've had to spend with my girls.

I've been staying at Cassandra's place in Kelowna for the most part. I still take the girls to my parents place when she wants the house to herself. It's been great because I get to see the kids everyday, but I still get to have a life because we split up the nights. The downside is, I'm basically just playing house again... I always just fanasized that my life would be, husband, wife and kids living happily under one roof. The last 3 weeks or so have just kinda blurred the lines between reality and fantasy. I can't help but fall back into it, because I want it so badly, but it isn't reality. I don't belong here, this is Cassandra's space now, it isn't my home, i'm just the transient who sleeps on the couch. SO... I've found a cheap 1bdrm place in Glenmore that will serve as my new home base. It's gunna be tight. I'm making up the bedroom for the girls, with 2 single beds and their toys. I'll sleep in the livingroom on a pullout couch until I can afford to buy a place, probabley sometime next year. I move in on April 1st, and then I can get back to reality.

It's daunting to think that almost a month has passed since I was layed off, and I feel like I have so much more to do. My love life is a tricky animal right now, because I find myself missing the comforts and companionship of the fairer sex, but cannot even fathom the possibility of a real relationship yet. It certainly wouldn't be fair or smart to enter into a relationship knowing that im heading back out of town in 2 months. One thing, that has been positive,  is being back in town has done wonders for the self-confidence.

My Evolution continues. Right now it feels a little more rapid than in usually does. Like a passenger, staring out the window at the rapidly changing landscape of my life, i'm trying desperately to soak it all in before I hit traffic and have to slow down again, when I head back out of town. One day, i'll be able to stay longer, and I can set up more perminant roots. For now, I'm just passing through.