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I hate being single. It's not that I don't think the prospect of new beginnings is exciting, or that I don't feel like I'm going to find another relationship of value, or that I'm going to be single forever, or even that I need someone else in my life to feel whole or fullfilled. I just hate how much you have to change about your life, when you go from attached to single.

Most of my friends are in commited relationships, so going anywhere socially, where one might meet other single people just isn't on their priority list. When they get a free night, they want to hang out with their boys! They get enough female energy from their partners everyday, and their partners don't want them hanging around with other single girls. As the single guy, you'd prefer more of a mixed venue, where you might be able to chat up some single women, but your buddies want to go fishing with the boys. Now I love a good guys night, I love fishing with the boys, but am I going to meet someone that way? So, then I have to consider, maybe I should meet other single guys, so we can do single guy things together. Then you're really strapped for time and social energy, because not only are you trying to make guy friends, and going through the motions of developing a friendship with them, but you're also keeping an eye open for available women.

It takes a considerable amount of energy and effort to get out and meet a tonne of new people, hoping to find one that clicks. The failure rate is of course MUCH higher than the success rate, and the more you fail the more you can feel your standards slipping. When you're looking for someone to pair up with, "second best" just doesn't cut it, you really have to know what you want and not settle for less, after all, who wants to be back in the same place again after another 5 years?

A whole new wardrobe, keeping on top of haircuts and personal grooming, acting lessons so you can pretend you're more confident that you really are, a gym membership, money for social activities, these are all things you let slide, to varying degrees when you're in a long term relationship. You just don't have as much time and money to do them, when you're busy trying to make sure your house isn't falling apart, changing cat litter, dropping your partner off at the various social engagements, hanging out with your partners' friends/family, spending quality time with your partner, making a little time for yourself.

Then there is of course the venues, the meat markets. Where am I going to meet someone I find attractive enough to talk to, and feel there is a good chance, that upon talking to them they don't completely bore me or turn me off. I also have to feel comfortable being in the venue and it has to fullfill the requirements of being able to actually talk to them. Clubs/pubs, online, coffee shops, grocery stores, the gym, yoga, or some other "self-bettering" class, all have varying degrees of potential, but also come with varying degrees of restriction aswell.


It's just a lot of crap to go through, and so much of it has to be superficial, because we all know that being witty and smart, or sweet and romantic, or compassionate and driven, rarely convinces anyone to say, "hello."

I personally, just go commando in sweat/yoga pants, I find that gets a lot of women to say, "hello."

You know that other single people, especially other single people who have been in failed relationships, are going to be as picky as you are. You're worried about lowering your expectations and standards, because you don't want a repeat of your last relationship... It just makes a person wonder if it's worth it at all. It certainly makes you understand why its important to do all you can to keep the relationships you're in healthy. It also should be noted that as old and jaded and stale as you may feel your realationship is, and as exciting as the single life may seem, the grass is NOT greener, it just looks that way. We're all munching on dry, dead, brown, grass. Everyone is either upset that their relationship isn't what they hoped for, or upset that they can't meet anyone they could stand to be in a relationship with. The ONLY people eating green grass, are the people whose relationships are still new, or who haven't grown tired of "the same old, same old."

It all really makes a person feel like if "green grass" is really what you want, then you need to change your expectations. You have to make that dry, dead, brown, grass taste delicious. Throw some ranch on it, a couple diced tomatoes, maybe some avacado... because dry grass, is better than no grass.