High points.

I have 4 acolytes! I feel so honoured that 4 people feel that my life is interesting enough that they'd consider reading about it everyday.

Looking over my first two blogs, I noticed that the overwelming theme is pretty negative. I just want to clear the air a little bit, I'm really not a negative person, some people think so, but i'm really not. I tend to reach out to friends and family more when I'm feeling shitty about my life. When I need support, I seek it out. I think that often comes accross as being a negative person, since that is the side of me, my friends and family would hear from most often.

I consider myself a realist. I think it is very valid and normal to feel crappy about things when you loose your job, your marriage falls apart, you feel like your life is spiraling out of your control, and you feel like you've lost direction in your life. I also think its important to do everything in our power to not allow these things to take control of yourself, I don't think wallowing in your misery is healthy, or helpful. I beleive that a strong soul, forged from lifes trails and tribulations, is a far more attractive, and valuable trait than having everything handed to you on a silver platter. It is far better to have friends, and potential partners, who you know love you for who you are, and not what you have. I don't believe that "strength" means, "suffering in silence", or "sucking it up," real strength comes from perserverance. I really like to use this analogy, "who is the tougher man, he who can throw the hardest punch, or he who can take it, and stay standing for another?" Being a rock, or an island can appear very strong, but the irony is, it takes strength, to show weakness.

The point I'm trying to make here is, I love myself. I know that I have a lot inner strength. I know that I am a good man, with a lot going for me. I have a great family, great kids, great friends, a good sense of humour, i'm skilled and talented, and I have an adequitely sized penis :) My sadness is really a direct result of wounded pride I think. I beleive I should be, and appear to be, successful, happy, strong, and confident. I feel like I deserve it, I feel like I work hard for it, and my efforts should be rewarded. I don't feel like life has adequitely rewarded me for my efforts. I don't feel like my meat suit adequitely reflects the person I believe that I am inside. I find it increadably frustrating that my ex-wife can't see how amazing I am, and how hard I am going to be to replace. I find it increadably frustrating that my ex-employers layed-off one of their best workers, and kept their brown-noser buddys who talk shit about them behind their backs.

If that is not pride, I don't know what is.

P.S. in case you didn't realize... "adequitely," is the word of the day.